An Appointment

September 8, 2010

My doctor moved away and I was assigned a new “primary care provider.” An insurance euphemism.  A random PCP. Mystery doctor. I got the information in the mail and tossed it in my desk drawer.

If it weren’t for my high blood pressure, I’m sure I’d be able to avoid seeing a doctor for years. But, after a while they like to see if the “silent killer” is being kept under control. Sadly, no doctor has never written me a prescription without an expiration date, so I eventually am forced to go for a check-up. It’s rigged! Sigh.

I made an appointment with mystery doctor, weeks in advance. Enough time to get back on my treadmill, deprive myself of a few yummy things, and show up at least as fit as the last time I was checked over. Anyway, good intentions and all that…

The treadmill remained a dusty clothes hanger, and I kept putting deprivation off for another day. The appointment was fast approaching. Then I conveniently realized that I was going away for a long weekend on that day. So, I rescheduled, and thought of all the good I could do for my body in the interim.

Last week Friday I came home to a phone reminder of my impending appointment the following Tuesday. My anxiety rose at the thought of the still dusty treadmill and the snack in my hand. There was no way to reschedule. Monday would be a federal holiday, and the appointment was for 8:00 Tuesday morning. Trapped!

All weekend I fretted about the appointment, until Monday evening when my own voice went off in my head: “Dammit! You’re a forty-eight year old woman! Grow up and go to the doctor just as you are!”

A nice thing… the antithesis of the “still small voice”—the inner drill sergeant’s swift kick.

~

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6 Responses to “An Appointment”

  1. Samantha said

    Sometimes listening to the voices in your head is a good thing. Hope your visit is a nice thing as well.

  2. Lisa Kern said

    Are you living in my head? I play these very same games with myself. I’m currently in unescapable doctor-avoidance mode and it’s not good. I think I’ll borrow your drill sergeant voice for a pep talk of my own.

  3. No… I’m pretty sure I’m not living in your head, Lisa. I think I’d get our kids mixed up if I did. But sure, I’ll be your drill sergeant!

    GO TO THE DOCTOR, LISA! Just as you are.

  4. Emily said

    where is the good in trying to fool a doctor into thinking we are in a better state if it is only temporary? It’s like late night cramming for a test so we can spit it all out at our teacher the next day… and then forget every last name and date. Doctors and teacher aren’t in our lives to be impressed; they are here to help us!

  5. Laura said

    I know a guy who doubles up his BP meds before going to the doctor so his BP looks better. (He still sees the doc he’s been seeing since he was a tyke. Big authority figure issues.) I know how you feel – I had to go in for something else last week and got my BP checked. I felt guilty and alarmed until it came back OK. My voice was quiet – it needs to get more active!

  6. OwlSaysWho said

    Note to self . . . make the damn Dr. app’t.

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